I tucked ter into my book and  to look for Speck. Panic overo t s only moments before. to a cold rain, obliterating any tracks s  a single soul could be seen. No one anss y, as co ring out anoto venture out into too go. A car eased around a corner and sloted me , quot;Do you need a ride? Youll catc;

    I remembered to make my voice understandable—a single stroke of fortune on t miserable day. quot;No, t;

    quot;Dont call me maam,quot; sail like t;Its a nasty morning to be out, and you  or gloves.quot;

    quot;I live around t;

    quot;Do I kno;

    I sarted to roll up her window.

    quot;You  seen a little girl out ; I called out.

    quot;In t;

    quot;My ter,quot; I lied. quot;Im out looking for  my size.quot;

    quot;No. I  seen a soul.quot; S; is your name?quot;

    I ated and t it best to end tter. quot;My name is Billy Speck.quot;

    quot;Youd better go urn up.quot;

    turned tored off. Frustrated, I oreets and ter. teady drizzle, not quite cold enougo cerated t difficult to orient myself, so I used ts course t to tic to find  stop until late t nigand of evergreens croer sparroed, ing for a break in ther.

    Aoony sopped searcions I  at bay began to assault my mind. Unanss t orment me in quiet moments for t fe Kivi and Blomma o be alone. told me my real name, I  quiet, or told all and given o stay? A so stop obsessing, I rose and continued to stumble t darkness, finding nothing.

    Cold, tired, and o ter ran quickly, breaking over ecaps flas of courage. On tant s escape of a . quot;Speck,quot; I railed across ters, but s t of land, too large and unkno cross, so I sat on ted. On t her.

    I staggered into ted and depressed,  to talk at all. t  fe by ttled. After t a fire and fed me nettle soup from a copper pot, tory poured fort for tion of my name, except for o ;As soon as I realized s to look for raveled as far as t;

    quot;Little treasure, go to sleep,quot; Smaolac;ell come up  promise.quot;

    t morning or any ot. I read every tense moment, every crack and creak, every ed my grief and gave me rying to drating me drift aoo, but I felt any otry ted to remember properly. I ed t stopping aking me into tion. I kept t I sa and fell  to be merely tcer play over stone, I came upon  tucked beneaturned out to be a fa in a window of sunsernally. And never here.

    retcory. I spent an eternity trying to forget rying to remember. t to talk about  I surprised ter an afternoon of fiso tion not intended for my ears.

    quot;No our Speck,quot; Smaolacold t;If s be coming back for us.quot;

    tole furtive glances at me, not knoring of fiso sending t t on me. But   s survived, but I preferred to t so t to mind tense colors of her eyes, and a brief smile crossed my face.

    quot;S; I said to t group. quot;I kno;

    t turning over stones in ts and salamanders, to cook togete, and took its toll. Famisiny bones t cruncars emerged,  to bed, our stomacaxed by te late t morning and dro s once crossed my mind ting.

    Specks presence  and stare at tcs marcice driving  of my mind. Anyt triggered a memory could be stripped of its personal, embedded meanings. A raspberry is a raspberry. tap you ried to forget  my place as t of my kind.

    All of us ing for not I kneo make tco steal anot our number too feions, or perself ime ain relentless energy, but less so under Béka, and never under Smaolaco toed, or forgotten. No face-pulling, no contortions, no reports. As if resigned,  about our eternal business, sanguine t anoter or abandonment aed.

    I did not care. A certain fearlessness filled me, and I  ate to run into too son of cigarettes for Lucs for Cole unnecessary t and batteries, a dra, I fiddled asks— atop a one ring around turtle sing to a necklace. I  up alone to turbed, as , and placed tortoises , but only because life  niger finally made me realize t Speck ting.

    e ending to delicate seedlings planted on a sun-drencolen ne tender ss—snap peas, carrots, scallions, a ermelon vine, and a roo rise like ail, to sniff to flee or ruders  rail and ion. Since t raveler pass our  our cultivated patc look a bit peculiar to trangers out in t of trees.

    trapped at trolled past ts and us. t man , ent on tually settled dotled er, unen t man took out a book and read somet to t off berees to relieve ime, for t only to finis to kiss terlude ended, trapped on ted a decent spell before running to t ted.

    ty er bottles littered tc  to me. tuaries by Louise Bogan. I leafed topped at t more t.

    quot;Speck,quot; I said to myself. I  said uries.

    quot; is it, Aniday?quot; Chavisory asked.

    quot;I am trying to remember.quot;

    to turned to see if my comrades o discover Lucep by ginger step, s flooded  an urgency to find o understand ell e conversations of my mind ill  to go, found t o convince  moved in my . And ever  it  too late, I resolved to begin again.